relationships

Why your relationship with your mom or dad is causing you to not be seen as an expert

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I know you are dying to be seen as a leader in your industry.


You want people to reach out to you to work with you, to respect your time and definitely not message you with "I'd love to get your feedback on this thing.." (yes that thing you would charge money to do and they want it for free), and you want to be tagged in posts where people are looking for influencer’s or people to hire.

 

You share testimonials, wins, and you know your work is GOOD like really fucking good but it doesn’t feel like other people think that or at least you feel like other people don’t see it…
You still wonder when that day will come when people tag you in stuff or message you saying that they’ve been watching you.

You wonder when people will reach out to you and ask you to be on their podcast.

You wonder when people will reach out to you, begging to be your client, and you possibly not sure if you can take on another client!

But the pattern you play out with this stuff ^ is the exact same pattern you're playing out with your mom/dad OR possibly someone else really close in your life, possibly a spouse or a friend, someone who you really would love to be proud of you…

You want them to respect you.

To see you as a business owner, to see that you're doing great things, and at this point you might even be making $5K-$10K a month but it still doesn't seem like they get it yet or respect what you're doing…

Now that you know money won’t get their approval, you still feel confused as to what will get them to see you have a successful online business…


They might make comments about how "cute your little online business is" or that you should just give up this business thing and focus more on your kids or family.

Every time they say those statements you boil up a little inside. 
You feel the frustration almost come blowing out through your ears and the cycle of proving to everyone begins again.

The way you’re not showing up confidently, worthy, and like a fuck yeah woman who gets what she wants, is the same way you show up with that person.

It’s almost as if the way you shrink in front of them, is how you shrink showing up online in your business.

You get treated that way.

You get treated that way with clients, potential clients, strangers on the internet, your parents, friends, possibly your spouse, and most definitely... with money.

Until you fix that pattern, you will continue to be treated that way, and you will chase, chase, chase money, until you're burnt out and exhausted or until you have a lot of money but you're fucking miserable.

Patterns are the things we may have learned that protected us, kept us safe, or just worked well in a relationship at 1 point in our life but sometimes we out grow patterns or need new one’s to get to a different place.

But when you’re trying to do something different like:

  • jump to a new income

  • charge more for your services

  • just make your life better in all area’s

unstuck your money mindset 1.png

Want to dive deeper into healing your money mindset?

Uncover habits, thoughts, and beliefs that are holding you back from becoming the rich-wealthy woman that lives within you?

 

One of my favorite quotes about this:

“You can’t create a new reality with the same personality”

What this means about that pattern in that relationship, is that it will have to change.

Maybe a pattern that worked well for you when you were younger, were to not talk back to your dad or challenge his opinion.

So you continue to not do that today..

That plays out in your business because.. a strong part of content marketing is to state your beliefs, strongly. Like if your business is about branding: a really strong belief you’re going to have to hold is that branding works for businesses and it will help make other businesses successful.

But well.. you play into the pattern to NOT challenge other people’s beliefs.

It keeps you safe, keep things smooth, no confrontation, but it also keeps you broke.

Because the girl out there making her stance known that Youtube is what will make your business successful, because she fully believes and shouts it from the roof tops, well she’s winning.

How to fix this pattern {expert mode}: If you want to go straight to disrupting that pattern on expert level: next time you spend time with your dad and you disagree with a thought, he has, feel free to challenge it in a thoughtful way.

It might lead you to a great discussion.

How to fix that pattern {beginner mode}: If that idea terrifies you, start out small, next time you’re in a conversation with someone you love + trust and aren’t intimidated by, challenge their thoughts if you disagree with them.

See how you feel after doing that.

I used to have this fear of talking back to my mom, even when her comments toward me got out of line or didn’t feel right. I never questioned them, I just sat silently and listened.

Until I started to empower myself way more around relationships and money.

I realized that the way she spoke to me, wasn’t okay and it wasn’t right to do that to someone you love.

We had gone on a shopping trip together at Christmas time and I can remember she started making comments about the stores I wanted to go into.

At that time I really had made a decision to change my life.

I wanted to be wealthy, I wanted nice things, and I wanted to give myself those things.

Once I felt like the comments started to cross a line, I spoke my boundary to my mom and told her that I knew where I wanted my life to go.

I did want nice things. I did want a Gucci bag. I did want to buy nice clothes someday. But it didn’t meant that she had to degrade my new choices and decisions because they made her uncomfortable.

That I had found who I wanted to become and what I wanted to do, and that also meant that she couldn’t speak to me that way anymore.

That she had to bring respect to our conversations.

I can still even recall the conversation as my throat was shaking and I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest.

The entire time, questioning whether I was an ungrateful daughter or an empowered woman who was creating a new relationship for both of us.

After our conversation, my mom said that what I did, putting a boundary in place, speaking my truth, and asking for respect… well it’s what she always wanted to do in her life, but was too scared to do it.

That’s why you create new relationship patterns.

Guess what happened after that?

I went on to have the biggest month I ever had in my business.

Because, well, if you can have scary conversations with people who really truly mean the most to you, well money and showing up online becomes the easiest thing in the world to do compared to that.

What relationship pattern right now do you know ISN’T working in your life?

How is it playing out in your business?